Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
