happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
