Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
