Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
