how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
