just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I could make wine with my vomit
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
