She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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