I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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