I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
