It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
