I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
