I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
