is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
