party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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