i just had sex bonerless
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Randomize