I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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