We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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