Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
