Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
