roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
