how can u be prego again
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
