Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm always down for nudity.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize