1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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