i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
