let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
porn star boner night. come get it.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
