i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize