Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
