Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
