it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
