Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
