she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
