i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm just crazy horny about you
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
