Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize