You're so nebulous sometimes
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
