He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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