Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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