i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
