Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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