Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
So much Jack, so little girl.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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