Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
