How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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