it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
