I'm going to jail i love you
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
