I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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