My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
