Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
