he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We are all done wearing pants today
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
