I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Oh god it's open bar.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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