I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
