it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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