How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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