They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
