It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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