Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
this hospital has no fireball
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
