i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
