So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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