I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
