Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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