A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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