i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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