You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
