That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
