She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
