she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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